Just Be-TWEEN Penthouse and Me

Photo by Seth Doyle on Unsplash

I saw my first Penthouse magazine when I was 12.  I was with a relative and since I was always curious about female anatomy, I was extremely excited about what I saw. Without a doubt, I became addicted to pornography that day. I was physically and mentally aroused at the sight.  When I was 14, I watched my first porno. It was very graphic - not at all what I expected. In fact, it scared me.  At the same time, I was automatically hooked and wanted more. I quickly went from watching porn to acting out what I saw when I lost my virginity soon after. Alcohol and drugs were also part of my life. When I met my wife, I joined the military. I convinced her to start having sex with other women to fulfill my fantasies from porn. I guess you could say we were swingers because each time friends came over, we’d get drunk, watch porn, and do just what we saw in the videos.   Then, that wasn’t working for me, so I started having affairs with other women and getting into fights with my wife, so I could leave the house. I would go and meet the women I was cheating on my wife with. This was before the internet so we would go to adult book stores and watch porn in the tiny rooms in the back. Sometimes I would go alone because even my sex with other women wasn’t enough. Since the rooms in the adult bookstores had holes in the walls, I would be masturbating to porn when the man in the next room would whisper what he wanted to do to me and me to him. I eventually gave in. Porn took me from being an innocent kid to fulfilling my insatiable desires for all kinds of sex with men and women.

*To protect identities, some have chosen for their intensely personal stories to be shared anonymously.