Not So Super Sunday

Catch the game last night?

Of course not. Everyone was too busy debating the halftime show.

Did you know that every year during the Super Bowl, porn usage actually decreases?

Yep. You read that right. PornHub, the 7th largest website IN THE WORLD, reported that for the last 6 years since they’ve been tallying the numbers.

Prediction for 2020: Those numbers will be VERY different.

In fact, last year, so focused on the game, people’s porn viewing in the US went down by almost 30% across the nation. **You heard it here first…I predict the numbers for 2020 will be VERY different — especially during and after the halftime show.

While there is no denying the intense pressure to up the game when performing on the world’s stage, I thought we moved past the notion that women WANT to be objectified.

Hugh Hefner famously said “The notion that Playboy turns women into sex objects is ridiculous. Women ARE sex objects.” So, I guess that settles it.

What a waste of time that whole #MeToo movement was. It appears we didn’t really mean it. Sorry kids.

When women hit a certain age, apparently the only way we have value is grabbing our most intimate parts and thrusting a camera…a male dancer…the stage…and don’t forget the stripper pole.

I get it — I’m close to the same age as both J-Lo and Shakira and I absolutely LOVE being called out by those who can’t believe how old I am. But, my worth isn’t in my physical appearance. It’s not in my sex appeal. It’s not in my multi-millions of dollars.

My worth has a lot more to do with the number of impressionable “fans” who tell me the other side of the story of what we saw last night.

Kids in elementary school are being asked for nudes. 

Teens being sextorted and trafficked.

Using children to get to their MILFs. 

Moms being used to get to their kids.

The pornification of our planet has casualties.

In fact, some even think about, attempt, and die by suicide. That’s another topic for another day. For now, let’s think about the message we sent the world last night. And then, let’s think about the message the kids received.

How many kids had a warning that they were going to see faux sex acts, gyrations, grabbing, thrusting, lusting, writhing, and the stripper pole: The true symbol of women’s empowerment. Oh wait…I mean exploitation.

Stripper poles remind us of hundreds of thousands of men and women, boys and girls entrapped in sexual exploitation, even sexual slavery…human trafficking. Stripper poles do not signal an era when all women will be judged by the content of our character.

Terry Crews famously reminded us what stripper poles signify. When he and his teammates used to go to strip clubs after their NFL games, he said it killed the fantasy when the dancers…The WOMEN…did the unthinkable…they spoke.

You see, they were not humans, they were objects. Learning they had kids, spouses, hopes, and dreams deflated the guys’ balloons.

Dance for me. Dance and don’t you dare speak while I sit here and fantasize, lust, masturbate or worse. And definitely don’t invite me into your humanity because then your tips decrease. You are only valuable to me when you do what I want. You are the fantasy I imagine, not the reality you are.

A high school student recently told me that “Women are only worthwhile when they are fulfilling the sexual fantasies of men.”

So, Hugh foreshadowed the world where Playboy was tame and women invited their daughters to join them in the sexcapades on stage.

You’ve come a long way, baby!

Next time you see a stripper pole, ask the owner how many forced sex acts took place there last year? Ask the women how many times they’ve been touched, groped, robbed, and even raped while on the job?

Then, I dare you to invite them to share their story of how they got on that pole in the first place. It might give you a glimpse into a hurting humanity where choices are limited and stages are set.

I was 8 the first time sexually explicit images hooked my heart. That tragic day changed me forever. I believed a lie that my identity was my sexuality and my sexuality was hijacked by messages like we saw and felt last night.

Hey boys! If you want me, you can have me. Or better yet, come and take me because I’m only here for your pleasure. Whatever makes you happy…Just tell me when it’s over.

Hey girls! If you don’t want to be invisible, you need to up your game in the sexy department. Your value is solely in the way you can turn others on. 

The message we sent to the boys and girls who watched last night was NOT “Wow, look at those empowered females.” The conversations they had with themselves more closely resembled, “If I want to be famous/sexy/loved/seen, now I know what I have to do.”

All that in less than 20 minutes. Out of one side of our mouths, we demand that men aren’t even allowed to compliment a woman’s appearance anymore — for fear of having a sexual harassment lawsuit waged on them. And yet, last night, we stepped back in time…again…to remind society that all too often when women say “No” they really mean “Yes.”

We link arms and march yelling at men and society that we want to be treated with dignity, regarded as equals, and shown the same level of respect as our male counterparts. But, we do it as we grab our crotch and writhe on stage attempting to say that with a straight face.

Do we even know what we want, ladies?